


SKZ-ONLINE

by woojinshands (woojinsthighs)



Category: (여자)아이들 | (G)I-DLE, Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: ? - Freeform, Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Alternate Universe - Not K-Pop Idols, Angst, Anxiety, Asexual Character, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Comedy, Depression, Everyone Is Gay, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Homophobia, How Do I Tag, I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I swear, Insecurity, M/M, Memes, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mutual Pining, Not In Chronological Order, OT9 - Freeform, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Secret Relationship, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Ships Will Come Later, Suicidal Thoughts, it's not as angsty as it sounds, unsupportive parents, well it is most of the time
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-01
Updated: 2019-04-13
Packaged: 2019-05-31 14:09:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 35
Words: 13,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15121112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/woojinsthighs/pseuds/woojinshands
Summary: A story offriendshipromancelovelossanxietyemptinessdepressionhappinessrelapserecoverycatastropheharmonyand so much more





	1. Hellevator

**Author's Note:**

> Hello. this is my first real fanfic, so please don't be too harsh.  
> *I will be changing their usernames through out the fic.

**12:37pm**

 

 **Lee Felix** _**has** **created a group chat** _

**Lee Felix _has added_ Bang Chan, Kim Woojin,**

**Lee Minho, Seo Changbin, Hwang Hyunjin,**

**Kim Seungmin, Yang Jeongin**

 

**Lee Felix _has named the chat_ "Homiesexuals"**

**Lee Felix:** wait

 **Lee Felix** _**has given**  _ **Seo Changbin** _**admin privileges** _

******Lee Felix:** there we go

 

 **** **Bang Chan:** Felix

what is this

 

 **Lee Felix:** It's a group chat

duh

 

 


	2. Grr

**1:18pm**

**Homiesexuals**

**Hwang Hyunjin:** Felix, I love you, but 

what the actual fuck is this?

 

 **Lee Felix:** hold that thought

**Lee Felix _has changed_ Bang Chan's  _nickname to_ 'channie'**

**Lee Felix _has changed_ Kim Woojin's  _nickname to_  'bear'**

**Lee Felix _has changed_   Lee Minho's  _nickname to_ 'meanho'**

**Lee Felix _has changed_ Seo Changbin's  _nickname to_ 'binnie'**

**channie:** What the hell is this

 

 **Lee Felix:** wait and find out :p

**Lee Felix _has changed_ Hwang Hyunjin's  _nickname to_ 'jinnie'**

**Lee Felix _has changed_ Han Jisung's  _nickname to_ 'squirrel'**

**Lee Felix _has changed_ Lee Felix's  _nickname to_ 'lix'**

**lix _has changed_ Kim Seungmin's _name to_  'minnie'**

**lix _has changed_ Yang Jeongin's _name to_ 'maknae'**

**lix:** there we go

 

 **meanhoe:** Felix :)

can you tell me why you woke me up at this god :) forsaken :) hour :)

 

 **lix:** it's 1:25pm

 

 **maknae:** *1:23pm

 

 **lix:** I came out here to have a good time and honestly im feeling so attacked right now

 

 **squirrel:** 'came out'

ha, gay

 

 **minnie:** Jisung, we've gone over tjis.

we are all gay.

 

 **binnie:** incorrect

Jisung and Chan are bi,

Felix, Hyunjin, and Jeongin are pan,

and the rest of us are gay.

 

 **minnie:** I-

I have fed you,

I gave you a roof over your head,

and this is the thanks I get? unbelievable.

 

 **binnie:** first of all, you've done nonw of those things,

second of all, you can't even cook,

and third of all, i'm going back to sleep.

 

 **lix:** hyung :(

 

 **binnie:** ig i'll go to sleep later  

 

 **bear:** lix

lix

lix

lix

lix

 

 **lix:** ihave been summoned

 

 **bear:** give me admin privileges

 

 **lix:** why shoukd i?

 

 **bear:** that :) wasn't :) a :) question :)

 **lix** _**has given admin privileges to** _ **bear**

 **bear:** see, that wasn't so hard :)

**bear _has revoked_ binnie's  _admin privileges_**

**bear _has changed_**   **binnie's** _ **nickname to**_ **whipped**

 **whipped:** CHANGE THAT BACK RIHGT NOW

 

 **bear:**  :)

 

 **whipped:** *please change my name back, hyung

 

 **bear:** well since you asked so nicely :)

no

 

 **jinnie:** damn, hyung

that was,,, brutal

 

 **bear:** why my dear jinnie, that's the point :)

 

**private chat:**

_**Aussie Squad** _

**kangaroo- >koala**

**kangaroo:** why is he so cute :((((((((

 

 **koala:** hyung, no offence but,  _how_ was that cute?

 

 **kangaroo:** Woojin hyung did it

 

 **koala:** fair enough

 

__

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What ships are you seeing so far? I'm curious.


	3. The Dreamz

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *In this AU they are not famous, but 3racha have a soundcloud

**1:42pm**

_**3racha** _

**CB97:** Changbin, my dude, you are so

incredibly

whipped

 

 **J.ONE:** ^

 

 **SpearB:** like you can say much chan.

 

 **CB97:** w-what could you possibly mran?

 

 **J.ONE:** AHA!

He only has typos when he's nervous or mad

and judgng from the situation

id say hes n e r v o u s

 

 **SpearB:** and he literally stuttered

through text

 

 **CB97:** i have no idea what you're taling about, now

where were we :)

 

 **J.ONE:** oh yeah,

noah fence hyung but youre like,

really whipped

 

 **SpearB:** kjfglhasgyigsvihsg;a/ 

 

 **CB97:** Changbin, you good bro?

 

 **SpearB:** Hello, this is Hyunjin. I don't have much time. Who is Changbin whipped for?

 

 **J.ONE:** oh, you didn't know? he's whipped for fejhegiaulrgh;

 

 **SpearB:** you good?

 

 **J.ONE:** It's Changbin.

Channie hyung, I suggest you don't finish that sentence unless you want to end up like Jisung :))

 

 **CB97:**  noted.

i've got to go walk my cactus, byee

 

 

 

 

 


	4. -+.-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> angst? soon?

**6:16pm**

**Homiesexuals**

**lix _has renamed_ Homiesexuals  _to_ that's so sad, alexa play despacito**

**channie:** lix, my favorite aussie, my brother from another mother,why the fuck did you di that

 

 **lix:** felt like it

 

 **squirrel:** i have a question

 

 **channie:** fair enough ig

 

 **squirrel:** g u y s

 

 **meanhoe:** i don't want to ruin this beautful moment but

can y'all shut up

jisungie, what's your question?

 

**bear _has changed_ squirrel's  _nickname to_ jisungie**

 

 **jisungie:** jkwaefhkjgt

 

 **meanhoe:** you good jisungie?

 

 **jisungie:** yeah, i just dropped me phone

 

 **bear:** anygay

jisung what's your question?

 

 **jisungie:** oh yeah

hsve any of y'all seen binnie?

 

 **lix:** y'all

 

 **minnie:** y'all

 

 **jinnie:** y'all

 

 **jisungie:** LHSGFi;w.gfS

 

 **bear:**?

 

 **jisungie:** seriously, have any of you guys heard from him in the last few hours?

 

 **channie:** I havent, sorry jisungie :(

 

 **maknae:** We were hanging out earlier but he said he wasn't feeling well

i think he went back to his apartment

he seemed really tired

 

 **jisungie:** thanks jeonginnie :)

 

**private chat:**

_**Aussie Squad** _

**koala- >kangaroo**

**koala:** hyung

are ypu and jisung going over to Changbin's?

 

 **kangaroo:** yes

and no you can't go

 

 **koala:** hyuuuuuuuuuunnnnngggggg

why notttttt

 

 **kangaroo:** in time you'll learn fe

patience yields focus

 

 **koala:**.....did you srsly just quote Voltron

 

_Read 6:32pm_

 

**private chat:**

_**Chansung** _

**channie- >jisungie**

**channie:** do you really think we need to go over there?

 

 **jisungie:** sorry hyung, I just have a bad feeling.....

i might just be paranoid but

and remember what happened last time he wouldn't responf

 

 **chan:** he;s doing better now, jisungie

sigh

i know he is..

omw

_Read 6:43pm_

**private chat:**

_**The Parent Squad** _

**woojinnie- >channie**

**woojinnie:** you and sungie going over to changbin's?

 

 **channie:** yeah

you want to go don't you

 

 **woojinnie:** well, yeah

you gusy seem,, more worried then necessary 

 

 **channie:** well we have good reason 

 and i'm sorry woojin, but i think it'd be better if it was just me and sungie.

 

 **woojinnie:** i get it 

are we still on for our movie night tonight?

 

 **channie:** shit 

uh, depends on how bad binnie is doing

i'm sorry woojinnie :(

_Read 6:59_


	5. Complain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I think I know what I want to do when they get to Changbin's place, but I suck at writing things that aren't in gc format. Oh well.

  **7:03pm**

_**Aussie Squad** _

**koala- >kangaroo**

**koala:** hyung 

why did Woojin hyung show up at my doorstep mumbling smth abt how

"men ain't shit"?????

 

 **kangaroo:** why should i know?

he's not answering my texts anyways

 

 **koala:** sigh

why are old people so complicated

 

 **kangaroo:** hey!

im not even three years older than you, brat

 

 **koala:** my point still stands

can you fix him please 

hes stealing our ice cream :(((

 

 **kangaroo:** i'll be over soon

and i thought you didn't like ice cream

 

 **koala:** i don't 

_Read  7:14pm_

**private chat:**

_**3racha**  
_

**CB97:** hey jisungie

can you go over to binnies by yourself

wooj is mad at me because i cancelled our plans for today

or you could take someone else

 

 **J.ONE:** like who

 

 **CB97:** i dunno maybe 

minho?

 

 **J.ONE:** hsadgfalgyfl

noo

 

 **CB97:** you could take lix

 

 **J.ONE:** minho hyung it is  

_Read 7:29pm_

**private chat:**

_**minsung** _

  **jisungie- >coolest hyung**

 **jisungie:** minho hyunggggggggg

 

 **coolest hyung:** what

 

 **jisungie:** chan bailed on me to go on a date :(

can you go with me to binnie's?

pleaseeeeeeeeeee

 

 **coolest hyung:** im busy

 

 **jisungie:** your room is literally next door

and i know youre home 

hyung pleeaseeee

:(

 

 **coolest hyung:** fine 

 

 **jisungie:** :)

_Read 7:38pm_

 

**private chat:**

_**changsung** _

**minho enthusiast- >felix enthusiast**

**minho enthusiast:** binnie?  
im going to spam until you responf

or till minho hyung and i get to yours

hyung

hyung

hyung

hyunggggggggg

..please

_Read 7:43pm_

 


	6. Peer Pressure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bc=bang chan  
> cb=changbin

**7:46pm**

**private chat:**

_**chanbin** _

_**bc- >cb** _

**bc:** changbin

changbin

binnie

bin

binnnie binnie changbinnie

changbean

my favorite dongsaeng that i love and appreciate

helllllllloooooooooo

don't make me tell Felix to text you

or worse, actually come over to your hous

 

 **cb:** what do you want 

i was having a great nap

thanks for ruining it

 

 **bc:** sure jan

 

 **cb:** if you're going to reference memes

at least make syre they're relevant 

 

 **bc:** brat

but you were actually taking a nap?

you're not lying to me, right?

 

 **cb:** i can feel the aggresive dad energy through the screen

and if you count laying on my couch

with my eyes closed as a nap

then yes

 

 **bc:** bin :(

have you not been taking your pills?

 

 **cb:** i have 

but i ran out

and i don't really want to go out and get them so

 

 **bc:**  bin

you could have told me or wooj

 or lix

or anyone 

you know what

im going to go tell lix to run to the pharmacy right now :)

 

 **cb:** chan

my favorite hyung

the best rapper in the world

my favorite aussie

please don't

 

 **bc:** well, since you asked so nicely 

no :)

 

 **cb:** you've been spending to much time with woojin hyung

_Read 8:07pm_

**private chat:  
_Chansung_**

**channie- >jisungie**

**channie:** hey

hey

hey

hey

hey

 

 **jisungie:** what

this is minho btw

 

 **channie:** oh?

anygay

you guys don't need to go to binnie's anymore

he was just 

resting

 

 **jisungie:** i'll tell him

we're heading home

_Read 8:21pm_

**private chat:**  
_Changlix_

**_lixie- >binnie_ **

**lixie:** hyung

hyung

hyung

hyung

 

 **binnie:** what

 

 **lixie:** i'm at your door w/ your meds

and ice creammm

sorry if some of it's gone, woojin hyung ate some earlier

let me in before i break in

 

 **binnie:** you couldn't break in if you tried

 

 **lixie:** wanna test that theory?

 

 **binnie:** not really

 

 **lixie:** hyung the icecreams melting :(

 

 **binnie:** what kind is it

 

 **lixie:** mint chocolate chip

 

 **binnie:** doors unlocked

_Read 8:40pm_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some of the next chap might be outside of the gc format, im not sure.


	7. Question

**9:03pm**

_**Unnamed Chat** _

**foxnae- >freckles**

**foxnae:** hyung

hyung

huyng

how is binnie doing :(

**9:07pm**

_**Parental squad + Baby Aussie** _

**woo:** lix

how's he doing?

 

 **chan:** ^

 

 **woo:** lix

olease answer

 

 **chan:** we're worried :(

**9:15pm**

_**(Almost) Birthday Buddies** _

**sung- >lix**

**sung:** well

how's it going?

lix?

please answer

minho hyung and I are worried :(

I bet everyone else is too

**9:41pm**

**Lee Felix _has created a group chat_**

**Lee Felix _has named the chat_ 'Changbin Protection Squad'**

**Lee Felix _has added_ Bang Chan, Kim Woojin, Lee Minho,**

**Hwang Hyunjin, Han Jisung, Kim Seungmin,**

**Yang Jeongin**

**Lee Felix:** do you guys ever wanna like

wrap someone up in a blanket and prtect them from all the bad things in the world

 

 **Lee Minho:** occasionally

and why didn't you responf to any of our texts

 

 **Han Jisung:** LEE FELIX YOU ASSHOLE

WHY DIDNT YOU RESPOND TO ANY OF OUR MESSAGES

I WAS FUCKING SCARED

 

 **Bang Chan:** ^

**Kim Woojin:** ^^

 

 **Hwang Hyunjin:** ^^^

 

 **Yang Jeongin:** ^^^^

 

 **Kim Seungmin:** ^^^^^

 

 **Lee Felix:** I have a very good explination 

I left my phone on the couch

 

 **Kim Woojin:** felix

i know you're dumb but i didn't think you were  _this_ dumb

you do realize that you could have gotten up

walked to the couch

and grabbed your phone???

 

 **Lee Felix:** bold of yo to assume i'm not that stupid

and anyways, i couldn't get up because  _someone_ decided to use me as their pillow

 

 **Han Jisung:** oh?

 

 **Hwang Hyunjin:** Oh?

 

 **Yang Jeongin:** OH?

 

 **Kim Seungmin:** O H ?

 

 **Lee Felix:** kweajflvc

shut up

 

 **Kim Seungmin:** never

 

 **Bang Chan:** anygay

how's Changbin?

 

 **Lee Felix:** well, he could be better

but he's fine

you do know it's the uitgruiewtcculo

 

 **Hwang Hyunjin:** Felix??

 

 **Lee Felix:** Felix can't come to the phone right now

goodnight

 

 **Yang Jeongin:** CHANGBIN

COME BACK

 

 **Bang Chan:** Let them sleep Jeongin

goodnight

_Read 10:26pm_

**private chat:**

_**(Almost) Birthday Buddies** _

**sung- >lix**

**sung:** hey lix

did you give binnie any of his pills before he fell asleep?

 

 **lix:** no

do I need to?

 

 **sung:** no, he's fine

don't wake him up

goodnight lix

 

 **lix:** goodnight sungie

_Read 10:39pm_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry i haven't updated in awhile, i haven't had access to my laptop recently.  
> *and btw, bin's pills are for his insomnia


	8. Cloud -9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bet you'd thought you'd seen the last of me

**11:05am**

_**Changbin Protection Squad** _

**Han Jisung:** feeeeeeellllllllliiiiiix

waaakeee uupppppp

 

 **Lee Minho:** jisungie. i love you, i really do

but why not privately message him

so  you don't wake the rest of us up :)

 

 **Han Jisung:** sorry hyungie :(

 

 **Lee Minho:** its okay

i was awake anyways

 

 **Han Jisung:** :)

 

 **Bang Chan:** as much as i hate to ruin this beautiful moment

 **@Lee Felix** i can see that you're online :)

 

 **Lee Felix:** damn

well nothing gets past you does it

hyung :)

 

 **Kim Woojin:** debatable 

 

 **Bang Chan:** :(

 

 **Yang Jeongin:** it's the truth

hyung

 

 **Bang Chan:**.

:(

 

 **Lee Felix:** look at what you've done

you made him sad 

 

 **Kim Woojin:** sorry channie

 

 **Bang Chan:** :)

**11:22am**

**_that's so sad, alexa play despacito_  
**

**channie:** im disowning all of you

except changbin

and maybe felix

and woojin,

i want a divorce

 

 **bear:** no

 

 **channie:** i retract my previous statement

 

 **bear:** :)

 

 **binnie:** scary

 

 **lix:** agreed

also, hyung! you're awake :)

 

 **binnie:** yeah :)

i jusr woke up

 

 **lix:** have you eaten?

 

 **binnie:** no 

im not hungry

 

 **lix:** are you sure about that

:)

 

 **binnie:** i retract my previous statement

 

 **channie:** scary

 

 **bear:** agreed

 

 **minnie:** i've always heard the sayung,

'life imitates art',

but i never thought i'd see that in action

 

 **jinnie:** couldn't have said it better myself

speaking of art, how is everyone's favorite power couple doing

 

 **channie:** never better :)

 

 **bear:** could be better

 

 **maknae:** damn

chan hyung what did you do

 

 **meanho:** tell me what he did, hyung

i'll beat him up

 

 **jisungie:** i'll help!!

 

 **channie:** what is it?

bully chan day?

 

 **jisungie:** no, hyung

that's everyday

 

 **channie:** i retract my retractment 

im disowning you all

except changbin

 

 **bear:** when i said 'could be better'

it's not about something he did, it's about something he's not doing

:(  


**minnie:** you?

 

 **channie:** KIM SEUNGMIN YOU SHUT YOR FILTHY MOUTH

YOU ARE A CHILD

 

 **bear:** I meant

he's not cuddling me :(

 

 **jinnie:** that

that was so soft :((

 

 **binnie:** I think i just puked

 

 **jisungie:** oh shut up

I bet you wouldn't be saying that if it was you and a certain dumbass

 

 **binnie:** you shut your mouth

right nwo

 

 **lix** _**has left the chat** _

 

 **channie:** look at what you've done

you made him sad  
_Read 12:01pm_

**12:02pm**

**private chat:**

_**chanbin** _

**cb- >bc**

**cb:** why did lix leave the chat :(

is he mad at us

is he mad at me

 

 **bc:** he's not mad at you bin :(

if anything he's mad at sungie

 

 **cb:** why is he mad at sungie

 

 **bc:** i can't tell you

but felix can

_Read 12:09pm_

 


	9. 은석이

**3:26am**

**private chat:**

_**The Parent Squad** _

**woojinnie- >channie**

**woojinnie:** i know youre asleep rihgt now

or at leastr you shoudk be

thats actually why im sendign it noe

because i know ill regret sending this in thw mnoring

or at leasy, later in the morninh

i know you love me

but i feel likr i dont deserbve you

or any of the kids

i know youll all sau its stupid but

i cant stop thiking about it

i feel like one day youll all uo and lesve because youll realize

i dont deserve ypu guys

sorry if thres a lot of typos

im actialy shakings

i feel so bad for dukping thia all pn you

i really dont deserve ypu

youre too kind to me chnanie 

im sorry i can t giv you everythuig you deserve

you deserve the world

my whple body feels so

_itchy_

i ahet it

why wont it sotp

i want it to stop

i want it all to just

stop

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me, projecting on to my faves? its more likely than you think


	10. Nxt 2 U

**7:33am**

_1 new voice message from **channie**_

**7:39am**

_2 new voice messages from **channie**_

**7:45am**

_4 new voice messages from **channie**_

**7:59am**

_13 new voice messages from **channie**_

**8:02am**

_**that's so sad, alexa play despacito** _

**channie:** have any of yyo guys heard from wooj today

he usnt responfimg to my cals

or my messages

 

 **jinnie:** i haven't heard from him since yesterday 

is something wrong :(

you seem worried

 

 **jisungie:** i texted him last night

he hasn't even seen it

 

 **lix:** chan hyung

did something happen

 

 **channie:** i hope not

just see if you can reach him

please

**8:11am**

**private chat:**

_**2jin** _

**little jin- >big jin**

**little jin:** hyung

hyung pelase answer

i dont know whats going on but imm worried

please hyung

at least read this

**8:14am**

**private chat:**

_**the bear and the squirrel** _

**squirrel- >bear**

**squirrel:** hey woojin

hyung

how are you doinh?

i really hope your just asleep right now

and not,,

nevermind

just please reespond when you see these

we're all worried

**8:15am**

**private chat:**

_**minjin** _

**min- >jin**

**min:** hey hyung :)

do you still want to go get ice cream today?

its ok if you dont want to

just plesae text me back

**8:17am**

**private chat:**

_**wooseung** _

**seungie- >wooj**

**seungie:** woojin

hyung

woojin hyung

plesase answerrr

we're worrie d :(

at least read these so we know youre alive

sorry

bad chocie of words

**8:20am**

**private chat:**

_**woolix** _

**the better aussie- >the better dad**

**the better aussie:** hyungggggg

please raed this

hyung :(

we love you

we miss you

i miss you :(

please respond

**8:22**

**private chat:**

_**oldest-youngest** _

**baby- >oldie**

**baby:** hyung

hyung please responf

we're all worried :(

we haven't seen you in awhile

except for channie

hyung

but i think he misses you the most

at least talk to him

please :(

**8:27am**

**private chat:**

_**woobin** _

**edge lord- >gay lord**

**edge lord:** i can see why yo always hide your emotions from us

from the kids

because if you worry, they worry

how do ou do it hyung

i know we all say youre a big softie, and you are

but yourse so strong

and ive always looked up to you for that

and even if youre not at youre best rigth now

youre still so strong

remember that :)

**8:31am**

_7 new voice messages from **little jin**_

_11 new voice messages from **squirrel**_

_5 new voice messages from **min**_

_13 new voice messages from **seungie**_

_6 new voice messages from **the better aussie**_

_16 new voice messages from **baby**_

_3 new voice messages from **edge lord**_

_31 new voice messages from **channie**_

 


	11. Small Things

**7:35am**

**private chat:**

_**The Parent Squad** _

**channie- >woojinnie**

**channie:** woojin

wooj

jinnie

baby

please respond

im woried

the kids arew worried

we love you so mucj, wooj

more than you'll ever know

and if anything, we don't deserve you

i don't deserve you

youre so sweet, and caring, and beautiful, and talented

and so, so strong

youre all that and so much more

you deserve the universe

please respond 

please

hyung, please


	12. Start

**11:** **08am**

**private chat:**

_**The Parent Squad** _

**channie- >woojinnie**

**channie:** wooj im scqred

please answer

you leave me no choice

im omw 


	13. Line

_Read 11:26am_


	14. 쉿

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry
> 
> tw: mentions of self harm

**3:31am**

~~_**diary** _ ~~ _**journal entry #137** _

_**8/26/18** _

_i shouldn't have messaged him_

_he'll hate me_

_he said i was doing so good_

_but here we are_

_back at square one_

_he said that he was proud of me_

_for ~~staying clean~~ turning to him_

_instead of a blade_

_instead of listening to **them**_

_i know its all in my head_

_and that they're all, well, me_

_but they sound so real_

_like they're next to me_

_and i listened to them_

_instead of channie_

_god im such a fucking idiot_

**_4/28/16-?_ **

**_entry #1_ **

_4/28/16-_ **2**

 _5/04/16-_ **5**

_5/17/16-_ **4**

_6/24/16-_ **6**

 _7/03/16-_ **2**

 _8/21/16-_ **7**

 _9/16/16-_ **4**

 _10/01/16-_ **3**

 _10/29/16-_ **5**

 _12/09/16-_ **12**

 _01/01/17-_ **2**

 _01/29/17-_ **1**

 _2/14/17-_ **6**

 _3/22/17-_ **5**

 _4/08/17-_ **4**

 _4/30/17-_ **3**

 _5/25/17-_ **6**

 _6/21/17-_ **2**

 _7/13/17-_ **5**

 _8/11/17-_ **8**

 _10/31/17-_ **10**

 _11/07/17-_ **4**

 _12/02/17-_ **3**

 _2/13/18-_ **16**

 _8/26/18-_ **20**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact: in this story, woochan got together on 2/14/18 :)  
> also, i'm pretty sure you guys know what those entries/numbers mean, but if you don't (or even if you just have a question) don't be afraid to comment!


	15. Not!

**11:26am**

**private chat:**

_**The Parent Squad** _

_**woojinnie- >channie** _

**woojinnie:** channie

im fine

you don't have to come over

 i shouldn't have dumped my problems on you

 

 **channie:** you know what woojin

that hurts

that you feel like you can't talk to me

im supposed to be your boyfriend for fucks sake

but lately it doesn't feel like you think that highly of me

i think i need some space, wooj

i think you do too

 

 **woojinnie:** channie

chan

no

plesde

im sorrry

i didnt mean to hurt you

id never hurt you on purpose

please

_Read 11:38am_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heehee


	16. Who?

**11:39am**

**_that's so sad, alexa play despacito_ **

**bear _has left the chat_**

**lix:** uh

what was that about

 

 **jisungie:** honestly lix

i don't think i want to know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if y'all have any ideas for how you think this fic will/should go, please comment them! the main reason I don't update frequently is that I have no idea where this fic will go.


	17. You.

**__**

* * *

**11** **:42am**

**channie _has renamed_ that's so sad, alexa play despacito  _to_**

**woojin protection squad**

**channie:** perhaps i fucked up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the new name is actually a play on SKZ-PLAYER/TALKER  
> and yes I'm aware it sounds lowkey stupid


	18. Voices

Woojin wasn't quite sure what he was going to do.

After his little... ' _episode_ ' he crudely bandaged up his arms and thighs, and then went and wrote in his  ~~diary~~ journal.

He thought he was overreacting when he wrote that entry.

Apparently he wasn't.

Chan really did hate him, and there was nothing he could do about it.

 

_such a fucking idiot_

_you dumbass you shouldn't have bothered him with your bullshit_

_he fucking hates you_

_he'll never forgive you_

_this is all your fault_

 

Just as his breathing started to speed up, and his eyes started to water, he picked the nearest object up, and threw it at the wall.

Turns out that object was his phone, and he was torn between being relieved, and worried.

 

_but what if one of the boys try to call me?_

he asked himself

_they won't_

his mind retaliated

 

He sighed.

 

He'd need to get a new phone, but he wasn't sure if he could afford that with his meager savings.

He'd been living in a cramped, dingy apartment for the past few years. And he could barely afford that.

Everyday he told himself he'd move out of there soon enough. 

_When would he stop lying to himself_

 

When he and Chan were together, Chan had told him many times that he could always crash at his and Felix's place, maybe even move in one day.                                           But Chan had already done so much for him, so every time he offered, Woojin politely declined.

He kind of regrets his decision, but if he were living with them right now, would they have kicked him out? Would he even be in this _position_ in the first place?

He doesn't want to think about that.

Ever since he cut ties with  _them_ he'd had to make his own money, buy his own food, pay his own bills, work multiple jobs to put himself through school, but up until recently, he had never resented them. He had thought it was  _his_ fault.

Maybe it was.

Maybe it still was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if the format is weird, or if this barely makes any sense. I try to stick to chat format, but some things can't be explained that way, and I just felt as if I needed at least a little background on Woojin.  
> Please tell me if there's anything you think I should/could fix.  
> Thanks for reading!


	19. Awaken

**11:42am**

_**woojin protection squad** _

**lix:** chan

idc if youre my cousin

i will not hesitate to beat your ass

 

 **jisungie:** im not your cousin

but same

chan what did you do >:(

 

 **meanho:** ^

 

 **binnie:** ^^

 

 **minnie:** ^^^

 

 **jinnie:** ^^^^

 

 **maknae:** ^^^^^

chan what did you do

and no i wont call you hyung because as of now ive lost most of my respect for you

 

 **minnie:** damn jeongin

go off

 

 **jinnie:** where did chan go

this interrogation isn't over yet

 

 **meanho:** ooh jinnie's bringing out the big words

he must be angry 

 

 **minnie:** shut up hyung

 

 **channie:** so you'll call him hyung but not me

i see how it is

 

 **lix:** chan

we call all those who we respect in this house 'hyung'

you just don't happen to be one of them

 

 **binnie:** im not even gonna lie

that was hot

go off lix

 

 **lix:** jhesvfluybvlawhc

 

 **maknae:** felix.exe has stopped working

 

 **jinnie:** anygay

chan what did you do

i need answers

 

 **chan:** well

uh

i may have told woojin 

i need some space

and that i think he does too,,,

 

 **binnie:** im sorry you did

what

 

 **meanho:** chan

i will not hesitate to beat your ass

because i know woojin loves you very much and would never beat your ass

 

 **chan:** are you saying you don't love me?

 

 **lix:** lets just say

you're on thin fucking ice

 

 **chan:** fair enogh i guess

but anyways

i tried to call him and it said

_'the number you are trying to call is no longer in operation, please check to make sure you have the right number'_

so

either he blocked me

or he changed his number

 

 **minnie:** neither of those options are very promising

 

 **jinnie:** i just tried to call him and i got the same message

so either he blocked us all

or at least me and chan

or he changed his number

 

 **maknae:** not to quote seungmin

hyung

but neither of those options are very promising

 

 **binnie:** we need to put some people on damage control

im taking applications from anyone but chan

 

 **meanho:** i'll go

 

 **jisungie:** i'll go

 

 **binnie:** am i surprised?

 

 **lix:** no

anygay

you guys know where woojin hyung lives

right?

 

 **meanho:** i do

 

 **binnie:** alright

no funny business on the way there!

 

 **maknae:** or at his place for that matter!

 

 **jisungie:** i hate you all

 

 **meanho:** even me?

 

 **jisungie:** *i hate you all except minho hyung

 

 **meanho:** :)

**lix** **_has changed_ meanho's _nick_ _name to_ softho**

**softho:** thanks!

i hate it

_Read 12:13pm_


	20. ма

Jisung was sure he'd remember this day for the rest of his life.

When he decided to get out of bed, he went to the kitchen and decided to make himself some toast. As he approached the kitchen he heard humming, now the humming wasn't necessarily strange, the fact that it was coming from the kitchen was. 

Minho never cooks. Is it a burglar? Did one of the boys break into their house to  _cook_? None of these theories made since, but just in case it was a burglar, he grabbed the nearest object (which happened to be his one of his sneakers) and walked slowly into the kitchen.

He was not ready for the sight that greeted him.

Minho was in the kitchen, he was  _cooking._ And he was wearing one of Jisung's (already over-sized) sweaters.

Jisung was going to die.

'Oh, hey Jisungie! When did you wake up, and why are you holding a shoe?' It took him a moment to snap out of his reverie, but he still had to take a moment and collect his thoughts.

'Just a few minutes ago, and no reason. Whatcha' cooking?' Was all he could manage to mutter as he dragged himself to their (abnormally small) dining table.

'Eggs and toast, I have a feeling we have a long day ahead of us.' Oh yeah. They had to go to Woojin's later.

He's not even gonna lie, he's kind of  _terrified_. It's not like he's scared of his friend or even his house, but the way Chan had sounded so frantic (how he managed that through text is beyond me) had  _scared_ him. And Chan said Woojin hadn't been answering his calls or texts, which means he didn't know exactly what was going on with him, and yet he still sounded so  _scared._

Did Chan know something they didn't? Or was it just pure Soulmates Instinct?

Their food was good, it was a little burnt but  _Minho_ made it so that makes it better automatically. 

After they finished, they both headed for their separate rooms, and started getting ready.

Jisung decided on black sweatpants, and a white t-shirt. After he was dressed, he brushed his teeth, and called it a day.

After Minho yelled at him for  _taking too damn long!_ he walked out of the bathroom and waited for the other to find his keys, which took more time than Jisung took in the bathroom so he's still not sure why his  _lovely_ hyung decided to yell at him at ass o'clock in the morning.

After what felt like years of searching, Minho finally found his damn keys, and thus they headed out of the apartment.

If Jisung remembers correctly, Woojin's apartment is about a 15 minute drive from their apartment.

At least he had 15 minutes to try and organize his thoughts.

Minho was still wearing his sweater (didn't I wear that yesterday?) and Jisung was  _dying._

Back when Woojin and Chan had first gotten together, they had always loved seeing the other wear their clothes. Jisung hadn't understood what all the hype was about then.

But he  _definitely_ understood now.

His hair was unstyled, and he wasn't wearing any makeup. And Jisung felt  _privileged_ to be able to see him look and act so, natural. Minho always felt like he had a reputation to uphold, so he dressed the part, looked the part,  _played_ the part. And oh, he played it well. He tried to seem untouchable, almost ethereal, so just out of everyone's league that no one talked to him unless they were his friend, or if they needed help with dance.

But that wasn't the real Minho. The real Minho was always done for 1am coffee runs in their pajamas. The real Minho would help you, with anything, even if you didn't ask him to. The real Minho wasn't untouchable, but he was ethereal and way out of everyone's league, at least that's what Jisung thinks.

Everyone could see how whipped Jisung was, except Minho himself. Which truly was a blessing and a curse

'Sungie, we're here.' Minho said while gently shaking Jisung;s shoulder. Jisung hadn't even realized they'd arrived.

Jisung took a moment to gather his bearings because  _wow_ Minho was right there, and Jisung could just  _kiss him-_

But, he doesn't. He just smiles up at his hyung, and then takes off his seat belt.

As they exit the car, Jisung is reminded that Woojin doesn't live in the  _best_ part of town. Jisung tells himself it doesn't bother him.

They walk into Woojin's apartment building, and take the stairs up to the 3rd floor (they couldn't afford an elevator)

They walk down the hall until they see room  _309,_ and tentatively knock on the door.

No one answers.

The walls are thin, but there is no sound coming out of the apartment.

They knock again.

No one answers.

Jisung is starting to panic, so he does the first thing he could think of, and twists the doorknob.

It's open.

Jisung is more than worried.

There is no sign of life in the living room, or the kitchen.

So they head to the bedroom.

Jisung almost wishes they didn't.

Jisung will never forget this day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I think this is my longer chapter yet! Im sorry if it's bad, I'm not very good at writing outside of gc format.  
> *Also, I just started a fic about how Woochan (and other ships?) get/got together! it's called 'Double the Closets, Double the Fun' I promise the title will make sense soon.  
> Thank you for reading!


	21. тр

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I SWEAR IT'S NOT AS ANGSTY AS IT SEEMS

Woojin was  _tired._

And no, that's not just because he couldn't sleep last night, or even the day before that. Yes, he was tired  _physically_ but the real problem was that his very  _soul_ was tired.

This was a type of tiredness that settled into your  _bones,_ that became a part of your very  _being._

Woojin has been laying in his bed for the past 9 hours. He hasn't moved since Chan had told him he needed  _space._

What had he done wrong? Had he been too clingy? Too distant? Had he dumped one too many of his problems on Chan and he had just decided he was  _done?_ Woojin tried to tell himself that Chan wasn't like that, but maybe he was wrong.

After he stopped stewing in his own self pity, his mind felt fuzzy. Like he had cotton in his head instead of his brain. His eyes were glazed over, and he was shivering. But he didn't feel cold. He didn't really feel anything. 

He could've lied there for hours, or even minutes but he wouldn't be able to tell the difference. His ears didn't even register the faint knocking at the door, but his limbs were starting to  _ache_ and he didn't really want to move but alas, he sat up and haphazardly wrapped himself up in his favorite blanket (Chan had gotten it for him for Christmas, before they got together)

Woojin smiled sadly as he stroked the soft fabric.

Woojin didn't register the sound of his door opening, or even the footsteps that stopped at his door.

However, he did register the small _'_ _H-hyung?'_ that was accompanied by a small gasp and a sniffle.

Woojin was sure he looked awful, he didn't want any of the boys to see him like this. He was supposed to be a good hyung, be a good role model for the boys. He was supposed to be  _strong._ He was supposed to have his shit together. He was supposed to be  _okay._

But he wasn't.

_He never has been._

And that was all it took for him to burst into tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it's kind of short whoops


	22. еш

Jisung has never seen his hyung cry. Neither had Minho.

To be fair, the only one who had seen Woojin cry before, was Chan.

Jisung had seen Woojin sprain his arm, and he hadn't even teared up.

Jisung was not sure how to deal with this. Jisung didn't  _know_ if he could deal with this. This was going to be a long day indeed.

At least he had Minho there with him. He knew how to deal with things, maybe not  _these_ kind of things but Jisung is still glad he's here.

When he felt a shaky hand grab his, he expected it to be Woojin. But to his surprise (and if it were any other circumstance, pleasure) it was Minho.

He was about to ask why Minho was shaking, but after he took a better look at his hyung and his surroundings, he knew why. In fact, he felt a little faint but that was the least of their worries. Woojin still hadn't moved from his spot on the bed, and even though he was crying and shaking, his face looked oddly  _calm._

No, calm wasn't the word. His face was devoid of emotion, and his eyes were unfocused. Like he was there  _physically,_ but not  _mentally._

_He seemed so out of it_

Jisung doesn't want to think about what that could mean, so instead he takes in his surroundings once again.

Woojin's room looks  _awful._ Jisung can see papers scattered all over his desk, and there's something next to it as well-

 _Was that Woojin's phone?_ Jisung walks over to the desk, and picks the phone up. The screen is shattered, and it's either out of charge or it's  _actually_ dead.

Jisung slips it in his pocket. and moves to the edge of Woojin's bed. Woojin is sitting on the left side of his bed and 'looking' out his window. 

Now that Jisung can actually see his face, he can say with absolute certainty that his hyung looks like  _shit._

He looks like he hasn't slept in days, if the bags under his eyes are anything to go by, and his cheeks look sunken in. And his shoulder's are so  _tense_ he may as well have been carrying the weight of the world.

Maybe he was.

Jisung moves (slowly, cautiously, as if he was approaching a wild animal) in front of his hyung, and as he looks over his shoulder, he realizes Minho is still shaking, and he's barely moved an inch.

Jisung crouches in front of Woojin, and softly whispers 'Hi, hyung. Minho hyung and I are here.'

He doesn't say anything. Woojin is looking at him, but it seems more like he's looking  _through_ him. As if he doesn't see anyone there at all.

It frightens Jisung, but what frightens him more are the dirty looking bandages wrapped loosely around his arms. They looked like they had originally been white (what kind of idiots decided bandages should be  _white-_ ) but had been thoroughly  _dirtied._ They needed to change them.

Jisung was not looking forward to this.

He asked Minho to go get the first aid kit, to which his response was only a stiff nod and a rather audible  _gulp._

After Jisung found where the bandages had originally been tied up, he carefully started unwrapping them. He expected for Woojin to flinch, or jerk his arm away or maybe even let out a hiss of pain. 

 _Nothing._ He remained unmoving, unbothered. He didn't even flinch when Jisung had gotten the last of the bandage off.

He did blink when he heard Jisung start sniffling, and it almost seemed like some of the fog over his eyes started to dissipate.

Jisung felt nauseous whenever he could fully see his hyung's arms, they were so  _red._ There were some red scars, that looked as fresh as the tears in Jisung's eyes, there were also some white, some pink, some completely healed over and slightly raised. It was like a twisted work of art. 

When Minho returned, Jisung cleaned and re-bandaged the wounds with shaky hands and teary eyes. When he was finished, he looked up at Woojin only to find him looking right back down at him. His face was still blank, but his eyes were no longer vacant.

They looked as if they had seen too much for a boy his age. Jisung could practically  _feel_ his heart break a little more.

' _Why?_  ' Woojin whispered. His voice was rough and it cracked at the end, he sounded so  _broken,_ so  _done._

Jisung sobbed.


	23. ₩1000000

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise bitch, bet you'd though you'd seen the last of me

_in the meantime, elsewhere in_ _South_ _Korea,_

**12:15pm**

**_woojin protection squad_ **

**lix _has changed_ chan 's  _name to_ dumbass**

**lix:** start talking dumbass

i need details

 

 **minnie:** we need to see where you rank on the dumbass scale

and as of now you're bordering on headass territory

 

 **jinnie:** ,,,

good luck chan

 

 **dumbass:** i

ok

so

uh

should i just send you guys screenshots of what wooj sent me last night?

 

 **maknae:** if they're nudes you  can keep them

 otherwise you better send

 

 **dumbass:** I am far too drained to tell you to shut your filthy mouth, you child

so

**dumbass _has sent 3 images_**

 

 **minnie:** oh

 

 **lix:** yeah

 

 **binnie:** shit

uh

did he

did he do anything?

 

 **dumbass:** I think so

we'll have to ask minsung when they get back

 

 **maknae:** what do you mean did he do anything

 

 **jinnie:** jeongin we can talk about this later

 

 **lix:** uh

anyways

what did he say this morning?

 

 **dumbass:** basically he said he was  _sorry_

_sorry_

sorry for dumping all of his problems on me

sorry that he is like he is

if anything i should be the one saying im sorry

god im such an idiot

 

 **minnie:** we know chan

 

 **jinnie:** min

 i don't think its time for sarcasm right now

 

 **minnie:** oh

sorry

 

 **maknae:** well isn't this just a huge mess

anyways

chan pleas continue

 

 **dumbass:** and i said that he should be able to feel like he can talk to me

about  _anything_

and i just got so angry that he felt like he couldn't

so i said i think we need some space

**lix _has changed_ dumbass '  _name to_ on thin ice**

**binnie:** christ

when will minsung be back

i need more details

 

 **lix:** i dont know

i tried texting them but neither of them responded

 

 **maknae:** I guess we'll just have to wait and see

also, does anyone know where tall and taller went?

 

 **lix:** i

**lix _has changed_ minnie  _'s name to_ tall**

**lix _has changed_ jinnie _'s_ _name to_ taller**

**binnie:** hyunjin probably went to apologize for 'snapping' at him

he's a sensitive kid

 

 **maknae:** hyunjin or aeungmin?

 **binnie:** yes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! i am so, so sorry for not updating in so long. I hope this isn't as bad as I think it is.  
> Just know I'm already working on the next chapter, thanks for sticking around!


	24. ка

Screw that, Jisung  _knew_ he would never forget this day.

The thins he was seeing, hearing, feeling, would be etched into his mind until the day he died.

He would remember how he could barely breathe because he was sobbing so hard.

He would remember how he was shaking so violently he though he might combust.

And, above everything else, remember how Minho had stood frozen, looking at the scene in front of him.

How Woojin knelt down in front of him, and gathered him into his arms and whispered, 'It's alright. It's going to be okay.' Like Jisung was the one that needed comforting right now. He almost laughed at the thought.

When his breathing had started to calm to the point where he could hear the other boys talking again, he heard the tail end of their conversation, 

'Hyung, he's so worried. We all are.'

'Minho, he said he needed space, I don't want to bother him.'

'Hyung he literally asked all of us to call and text you because he was  _worried._ The reason we're in this predicament in the first place is because you weren't  _bothering_ him enough. He told us what you said, what you guys talked about, hyung please. He wants you to feel like you can talk to him. He loves you, we all do. Do you want Sungie and I to drive you to his place?'

The silence seemed to stretch on for hours, which might have been accurate seeing as that was enough time for Jisung to fall asleep on Woojin's shoulder. Woojin was about to protest until he heard a light snore. He shared a look with Minho and they laughed. Woojin's laugh seemed a little stilted, and maybe even rough, but it was music to Minho's ears none the less. Jisung seemed to agree even in his slumber, as the corners of his mouth turned up at the sound.

'I know you were going to make up an excuse. but seeing as Jisung is practically attached  to you right now, could I drop you off on our way back home?'

Woojin pondered for a minute, gave one look at Jisung's sleeping figure, then promptly gave in with a small nod. Minho smiled and helped move Jisung on to Woojin's back. They exited the apartment (Minho double checked that the door was locked) then they walked down the two flights of stairs before they arrived at the parking lot. Minho opted for Woojin (and Jisung( to sit in the back seat, so they could both lie down. Woojin didn't object. After they were settled Minho sent a quick text to the groupchat, then started heading to Chan's house.

 

Woojin was quite drained ( emotionally, physically, mentally, you name it.) so he didn't even have the energy to be nervous. He didn't know if he should be concerned or grateful. The rational part of him knew Chan would be glad to see him, and that he'd forgive Woojin, and maybe even apologize because he thought he was being rude. Chan was just too kind for his own good.

Woojin fell asleep with Jisung sprawled on top of him,thoughts of Chan floating around his head, and a goofy smile on his face.

 

**2:43pm**

_**woojin protection squad** _

**softho:** chan

he's heading your way

be gentle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry most of my chapters outside of gc format are always pretty short. You never realize how much effort goes into writing until you do it yourself.


	25. For You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: panic attack

When Woojin awoke from his nap, he felt much more refreshed, though he couldn't have slept longer than 20 minutes. His mind wasn't as foggy, which could have been a good thing. However, in this particular circumstance, Woojin wished he couldn't think. He didn't want to think about the possibility of Chan rejecting him, or being  _disgusted_ with him.

Woojin did not feel well. His heart started beating a mile a minute, and his breaths were short and shallow. His hands were shaking and he was starting to sweat. His thoughts were _racing-_

_He won't want you_

_You've disappointed him._

_He hates you._

_He wished you would have-_

'-yung, hyung! Hey, hey, it's okay. Breathe Woojin, breathe.' That was Jisung, he had forgotten he was here (he was literally on top of him-) Apparently they had arrived, seeing as Minho was also at his side, holding his hand and looking at him with a concerned expression. Woojin's skin heated up at being so  _weak_ in front of them. He was supposed to be the hyung, he was supposed to be  _strong-_

'Hey! Hyung, I can hear you thinking from here. It's going to be fine. Do you want us to walk you to the door, or do you think you can make it?' Jisung probably wanted to sound exasperated, but he just sounded concerned. Woojin didn't want to burden them anymore then he already had, so with a shake breath he croaked out an 'I'll be fine,' and a shaky smile. They didn't look very reassured, and Woojin couldn't blame them. Alas, they gave in and let him out of the car, silent reassurances of  _good luck, you'll be fine_ written all over their faces.

He winced at the bright light that shone on them when he stepped out of the car. After popping his shoulders and cracking his neck, he begun his trek down the rather long walkway. He arrived at the door sooner than he would have liked, he was about to get his key out, but he hesitated. He decided to just knock instead.

To his surprise (and quite frankly, relief) Felix answered the door. When he saw that it was Woojin, his jaw dropped in shock. Before Woojin could even comprehend what was going on, he was pulled into a (ridiculously  _tight-_ ) hug. When Felix unintentionally pressed against his cuts, he hissed. Felix drew back in surprise, and stepped back as if he had been burned. 

'Do you want me to call him down? Or do you just want to go up to his room?' Woojin still got a little surprised when he heard Felix talk, even though he had known the boy for  _years._

'Could you call him down?' He winced at his voice, which even to his ears sounded rough and  _exhausted._ Felix gave him a sad smile and nodded. He closed the door for a second, and yelled something in english.

(' _Chris get your ass down here! Your boyfriend's here!)_  
  
When he opened the door again, he was still smiling though it looked less sad. Woojin could hear Chan practically  _running_ down the stairs and had to hold in a laugh. Felix walked away right after he opened the door, so when Chan made it down the stairs, there was nothing blocking his view of him. He looked tired, and sad, but he still looked beautiful. Woojin had always though he was beautiful.

He smiled at Woojin, dimple and all, and Woojin was going to cry. Right here in his boyfriend's (if he could even call him that anymore) living room. Chan must have noticed, so he gently grabbed Woojin's shoulder and said 'Do you wanna go upstairs?'

His voice was so  _soft,_ so  _gentle_. Woojin almost melted right then and there. Woojin simply nodded, and let Chan take his hand as he lead him up the stairs. Woojin had always loved Chan's room, messy as it may be. His room (His house, his family,  _him)_ had always felt more like  _home_ then Woojin's ever did. And he loved it. Chan sat on the bed, and patted the spot next to him, signaling for Woojin to sit next to him. Woojin opted to sit at the end of the bed, and Chan's smile dulled. Woojin would have moved again, but he already felt quite awkward.

He waited for Chan to speak, but he didn't. They sat in silence, Woojin looking at Chan's bed, and Chan looking at Woojin. Woojin only looked up when he heard a sniffle, and he almost wished he didn't. Chan was  _crying._ And it's not Woojin had never seen Chan cry before, because he had. Chan was a bit of a crybaby. But this, Woojin had only witnessed a few times, and each time he told himself he never wanted to see Chan like  _that_ again. The first time was when his grandma died, before they were dating. The second time was when he had called Woojin after coming out to his 'friend', it hadn't gone well. 

Woojin felt a shaky hand grab his, and he started to tear up. He scooted closer to Chan, he was sat right in front of him now. Chan let go of his hand, and Woojin almost  _whined._ But as soon as he had moved, Chan had grabbed his shoulders, and pulled him closer. His head was resting on Chan's shoulder, while one of Chan;s hands played with his hair, and the other grabbed his hand again. 

Woojin started to cry. Chan just held his hand and pet his hair. But that was all that he needed. 

Woojin knew they would have to talk later, but he was so tired, and Chan was so comfortable.

He fell asleep. When Chan realized this, he laid Woojin down on the bed, and when he made sure he wasn't going to wake up, he got out of bed. He tip toed to the door, and exited as quietly as he could. He was going to go to Felix's room, to tell him how he was doing, but he didn't have to travel too far, seeing as Felix was right next to the door.

'How long have you been standing here?' He whispered, dragging Felix to the boys room. Felix just shrugged, but Chan knew he had been there the whole time. 'I didn't get to talk to him much before you whisked him away, how's he doing?' Chan paused, he didn't know how he was doing. They hadn't gotten to talk, but that was fine. They could talk later. He sighed, 'I don't know, Lix. I don't know.' Felix nodded in understanding, this whole situation having reminded him of when he went over to Changbin's with ice cream (and his pills)

Felix gave him a look, and he went back to his own room. He opened the door quietly, and his shoulders sagged in relief when he saw that Woojin was still sleeping. He slipped into the bed next to Woojin, kissed his forehead, and started running his fingers through his hair. Woojin had always loved it when he did that.

They would be fine.

They always are.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my longest chapter yet, I think it was around 1.2k. I hope you guys liked it!


	26. 돌

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really trying to make up for lost time, sadly this wil probably thr longest* chapter until late November, if not later. It's currently 3:59am, sorry if none of this is coherent or if there's a lot of typos.

When Woojin woke up, the first thing he noticed was that there were fingers running through his hair.

The second thing he noticed, is that those were Chan's fingers.

The third thing he noticed was that he wanted to go right back to sleep, but for better or worse Chan could read him (mentally and physically) like an open book. He felt the fingers stop running through his hair, and this time he actually did whine (he couldn't bring himself to be embarrassed). Chan chuckled the noise and at the hands blindly searching for his own. He sighed, and put his hands behind his head.

'Wooj.' Woojin whined, he didn't want to move and he most definitely didn't want to be blinded by the sunlight poring from Chan's windows. 'Woooooooj.' Chan drawled out the vowel and Woojin couldn't keep himself from laughing. 

'Woojin.' Oh no. Chan only said his full name when he was mad or needed Woojin to be serious. Woojin hesitantly looked up and was met by a sad smile and sadder eyes. He furrowed his brows as he turned over so that he could look straight up at Chan. Chan just sighed and took one of his hands from behind his head and started running his fingers though Woojin's hair. If Woojin didn't know Chan, he might think this was a ploy to get him to go back to sleep. But Woojin knew it was just Chan trying to make him relaxed, more compliant even. Woojin knew he wouldn't like what was going to happen next. He sighed, he wanted to get this over with but, he didn't know if he  _could._ Chan was straightforward, he didn't like to beat around the bush, and in most cases Woojin was grateful for that-

'How many?'

-However, this was not one of them. Woojin knew Chan wouldn't stall, but  _that_ was not what he was expecting, not at first at least. The last time he had asked Woojin that was the day before (technically the early morning of) the day they got together. And Woojin almost remembers it fondly, except for y'know,  _that._

He held his arms out to Chan, 'Use your words, Wooj.' He said, voice slightly trembling. Woojin slowly put his arms down, and hissed when he crossed them over his chest.

'....'

'Woojin.'

'....'

' _Woojin._ ' The tone was almost that of what a mother would use to scold her child. Woojin hated that voice, and Chan knew it. 'Channie-'

'Answer me, Woojin.' 

'Ch-Channie please-'

'Answer me, dammit!' Woojin would have reeled back if he wasn't laying down, so instead he just flinched violently. Chan looked guilty almost immediately, he always did whenever he blew up. Whether it was at the kids, Woojin, or hell, even his cat.

You see, the thing Woojin hated the most, was being yelled at. Whether it was his father yelling about how stupid he was, or his old principal yelling at him for getting into a fight (again.) He had always hated it, it made him feel stupid, insignificant, like he did something  _wrong-_

'Woojin, baby, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it, it's okay.' Woojin had been so lost in his thoughts he hadn't even realized Chan was practically  _cradling_ him, and that he was crying.  Just when he had thought he ran out of tears for the day. He huffed and began to rub (quite violently) at his eyes. Chan took his free hand and gently pried away his own hands, gently pushing them down. Even though at one point (which Woojin quite frankly didn't remember) Jisung had put a hoodie over his ragged old t-shirt, Woojin knew Chan could see the bandages. He sighed.

'Did they clean you up?' It was as if those words triggered Woojin's thighs to start working ( _hurting_ ) again, which Woojin realized they hadn't cleaned. He sighed, It's not like Chan hadn't bandaged him up before, it was just so awkward and  _emotional._ Woojin almost decided not to tell Chan, but then he started to rub invisible patterns onto Woojin's thigh, which usually calmed the boy down, though this time it just made him  _hiss._ What was he, a fucking cat?'

'Woojin...'

'...T-They didn't clean my thighs....' He whispered, voice cracking at the end. Chan winced. 'Can you walk?' Woojin knew he could, but it would probably hurt like hell. It was better then making Chan carry his fat ass though, Chan may be strong but, y'know.

'Yeah.' Was all he whispered in return, voice still rough from disuse (and crying). Chan gently moved Woojin so he was sitting against the headboard, the  he got up. After he made sure his limbs were all functioning, he grabbed Woojin's hand and began to help him up. Once Woojin was (almost) fully standing Chan half dragged half supported him to the bathroom. He helped sit him up on the sink, and then went to go get the first aid kit. Which was in the kitchen, but seeing as they had broken so many dishes, it made sense. When he arrived downstairs, he was surprised to see 5 other boys passed out on the couches and on the floor. He searched the room, but only found one cheeto head, and that was Jisung, who was curled into Minho on the loveseat. 

There were 5 boys sprawled all over his living room, and none of them were his brother. He sighed, and continued on his way to the kitchen. When he got there, he paused at seeing two figures sitting on the porch, But upon closer inspection he found that this was his brother and his not-boyfriend. He sighed again.

He grabbed the first aid kit, and tip toed his way to and up the stairs. When he arrived back at the bathroom, everything was the same, except Woojin had taken off his sweatpants. Woojin was still sat on the counter, swinging his legs, and biting his lip. Chan hated it when he did that.

'Jinnie, I'm back.' Chan picked up the discarded sweatpants (they were his) and put them on the other edge of the sink. He did a quick assessment of the damage, and winced internally. The new scars were raised and bright red, old scars surrounding them variations of pink, white, and peach. He sighed, he seemed to be doing a lot of that nowadays.

'C-Channie I'm sorry-' he said, his eyes wet with tears once again, Chan gently caressed his cheek and said,

'Baby, I've told you this before. I don't want you apologizing about this unless it's to your self.' Then Chan winked and booped his nose. Woojin just puffed out his cheeks and pouted. They took one look at each other and they burst out laughing. Chan was the first to calm down, when he remembered the task at hand.

'Baby, can you spread your legs a little more-' Woojin blushed lightly at the unintentional double meaning, 'Hey! I didn't mean it like that and you know it!' Woojin was laughing again, Chan loved his laugh. It didn't sound like bells, or angels singing, it just sounded  _real._ It was airy, and light, and he clapped when he laughed. 

'Jinnie, baby, I'm serious. I need to get to work.' Woojin immediately sobered up, and spread his legs just wide enough so that Chan could stand between them. Chan grabbed a washrag and wet it in the sink, then lightly pat Woojin's thighs. He tensed a bit, but it didn't look like it hurt too bad. When Chan was done, he grabbed another washrag and pat his thighs dry. After that was done he applied some antibacterial cream, and they just sat there waiting for it to dry a little seeing as Chan didn't have any bandaids big enough for  _this._

Once it dried, Chan helped Woojin slip into his sweats, careful to make sure the fabric didn't rub him the wrong way (literally). When that was done they hobbled back to Chan'r room and laid down. Chan had just remembered that the other boys were here, he figured they'd still be here tomorrow so he didn't bother to tell Woojin (he wouldn/t have, anyways.)

Once Woojin was settled, Chan pulled the covers up over them. He wrapped an arm around Woojin's waist, and kissed his forehead.

'Goodnight, Wooj. i love you.'

'G'night, Channie. I love you too.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's 5:22am,,,, lol. anyways I think this is my longest chapter to date, I hope you guys like it!


	27. My Side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...anyways go check out my other fics The 4 F's of Kpop and of Strawberries and Spearmint

Woojin felt warm. Not like, suffocatingly hot but just,  _warm._ His heart felt warm. And fuzzy. He decided he liked this feeling. He peeked over Chan's shoulder and saw that it was just after 3am. He sighed. He didn't want to wake Chan up, but he was already  _extremely_ bored. Maybe Felix was up.

He carefully extracated himself from Chan's grip, which was much harder than it should be, and made his way down the hall. Right when he was about to knock on Felix's door, he heard something downstairs. It almost sounded like... someone kicked a piece of furniture?

Woojin peeked in Felix's room and saw him and was that  _Changbin?_ Woojin would definitely have to talk to them about  _this_ later.

So, the noise wasn't Felix. He knew their parents were on vacation to some exotic island... was it a robber? No, it couldn't be... could it? This wasn't even Woojin's house, what if he was the only one awake when there was a  _robber_ in the house? Woojin could not take on a burglar, especially not right now. Maybe they wouldn't hurt him, maybe they'd just ask him to give them his wallet-

'Shut up Jisung you're going to wake someone up!' 

Was that... Minho? Woojin almost collapsed in relief. But wait, what was Minho (and apparently Jisung) doing here? When did they get here? Why were they up at this hour-

'Hyung I just stubbed my toe on the fucking table I could use a little more sympathy!' Jisung whisper-screamed. Woojin almost laughed.

'And I doubt I'll wake anyone upstairs-' He started to retort but Minho cut him off, 'Maybe so but there are three other people sleeping right fucking next to us you idiot!' So there were three more people with Minho and Jisung? If Changbin was upstairs that means... Hyunjin, Seungmin and Jeongin are here? Why were they here? Did something happen?

Woojin almost gasped,

_Are they here because of me?_

If that was the reason they were here, Woojin wanted to apologize. He was fine, at least for now. He decided he would apologize by making breakfast... in about seven hours. 

'Hyung, what's going on?' That was Jeongin, they must have woken him up. He almost laughed, though Jeongin was naturally an early riser, he did not like to be woken up by other people when he didn't need to be awake.

'Sh, sorry Jeonginnie, go back to sleep.' Now Hyunjin was awake too? How loud were these kids-

'Hyungs, no offense but I swear if one more word comes out of any of your mouths I will personally see to it that you don't make it past twenty-' Woojin was unintentionally moving forward, because the boys conversation had gotten quieter as they went on, and he stepped on a creaky floorboard.

Stupid floorboards.

He swears he could _hear_ all their heads whip in his direction. He sighed, and moved to stand in front of them.

'Hey guys-' Woojin was abruptly cut off by _someone_ literally _jumping_ on him.

'Hyung! We missed you! How are you? We tried to see you earlier but Felix said that Channie hyung said you needed sleep, which is understandable I mean-' Turns out the person that had jumped on him was Jisung, or at least that's who was talking.

'Woah, Sungie, slow down. I know you're a rapper and all but life's not all about living in the fast lane.' Minho said (rather dramatically) while gently prying Jisung off Woojin, which he was rather grateful for.

'Hi, guys. I'm sorry Channie didn't wake me  up earlier, I wish he would have. I'm sorry if you guys all came over here for me, you really  didn't have to-' Woojin paused after seeing Seungmin giving him a stern look.

'It's not your fault Chan hyung didn't wake you up earlier, and he was right, you do need sleep hyung. We all need to talk, but I think we'd all prefer having the whole gang here, yeah? So for now, lets just go to sleep. Woojin hyung can have the loveseat, I'm assumimg you want to sleep alone, who wants to share the couch with me-' both Hyunjin and Jeongin simultaneously (whisper) yelled, 'Me!'

(Though it was dark, Woojin could see the matching hues of red light up the three boy's faces, he sighed again.)

(Hyunjin, Seungmin, and Jeongin did end up taking the couch, and Minho and Jisung were in sleeping bags on the floor. Woojin almost wished he was back in Chan's bed, but this was nice, too.)


	28. Pre-My Side

at the time Hyunjin hadn't thought much of it but he realized he had fucked up. Big time. And it wasn't just because he had snapped at Seungmin earlier, in fact it went a little deeper than that.

There had been a sort of  _tension_ between the two boys as of late, and Hyunjin didn't like it one bit. And it wasn't as if one day the boys just became distant, it was gradual, Hyunjin had seen it coming, but he didn't want to think anything would change. But something did change, though Hyunjin didn't know what.

That's why Hyunjin (and Seungmin) were even more worked up (towards each other) than usual. That's why Hyunjin had snapped. That's why Seungmin hadn't talked to him since this morning, when they were having breakfast.

He sighed.

Jeongin was out right now, it was the perfect time to talk to Seungmin. He needed to do this now, or they would just stew in their feelings till they eventually exploded. 

He got up, slowly making his way down the hall towards Seungmin's room. He brought his hand up as if to knock on the door, but he hesitated. What would he say? What  _should_ he say? What if he just fucked this all up even more? What if Seungmin didn't forgive him? What if-

'Hyunjin, come in, I can hear you thinking from here.' Well, if anything would snap him out of stewing in his self doubt, that was it.

He tentatively opened the door, and stepped inside. He stood awkwardly by the door, unsure if he was allowed to go any further. He sighed, things hadn't been this awkward since they had first met. They were both rather socially awkward, and definitely weren't the best at making friends. They had been introduced to each other by Chan, who had said they were 'very similar, I bet you'll get along just fine!' Well, he was half right, anyways.

'Seungmin I-'

'Hyung I'm-'

They laughed awkwardly, and they both insisted the other could talk first. Seungmin eventually won, and Hyunjin began to talk.

'Minnie, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap, I-I don't know what came over me, I'm just so stressed and I know that's not an excuse but-'

'Hyunjin, breathe. It's okay, it's fine. I get it, I overreacted earlier, you didn't mean to hurt my feelings.' He said it all with a nervous smile twitching at his lips, and a hopeful glint in his eye. Hyunjin visibly sagged in relief, and trudged over to Seungmin's bed.

Once he got there he (literally) threw himself over Seungmin, and wrapped his limbs around him. (like an octopus, noted Seungmin vaguely.)

They fell asleep.

When Seungmin woke up, Hyunjin was still clinging to him, but there was another body present, also clinging to him. He couldn't see the boy's face, but he knew who it was.

(He would recognize that mop of hair anywhere, and Jeongin was the only one besides Seungmin and Hyunjin (and Woojin, but they didn't need to know that.) who had a key to their apartment (he did live there, after all.))

 'Innie, are you awake?', Seungmin whispered sleepily. Jeongin only nodded in response, not movong his head up from where it rested under Hyunjin's arm and on Seungmin's chest.

'What's with all the racket?', Hyunjin whined sleepily ( _cutely_ ) Seungmin and Jeongin laughed at the boy's pout.

(His head was still buried in Seungmin's neck, but they could hear it nonetheless.)

They all decided it was far too late in the day to be going back to sleep, so (with great protest) they untangled their limbs, and sat up. But none of them made any further moves, only sitting on the bed.

'Hyung?' Jeongin mumbled, almost nervously. Both Seungmin and Hyunjin hummed in response.

'What did Hyunjin hyung mean when he asked if Woojin hyung 'did anything,'?' It took them a minute to register what he was saying, but when they did they weren't sure how to respond.

'Ah, Jeonginnie I don't know if you want to know.' Hyunjin said, almost hopefully. He didn't want to be the one to tell Jeongin about this, hell, he didn't want anyone to tell Jeongin about this.

'Hyung, I'm not a baby. Please tell me.' He looked at them with those big doe eyes of his, and Hyunjin knew they had lost. He reached for Jeongin's hand, as did Seungmin.

'Jeonginnie, I don't know how to explain this... Some people are very, very sad. And being sad hurts, y'know? So, they try to bottle all that up, and it works. But, that's not a good thing, because when they bottle one emotion up, the rest go with it. And they go kind of... numb. And some people find peace in this, but some do not,' Hyunjin took a breath, 'Like Woojin hyung..' Seungmin added on, quietly. Hyunjin nodded

'Those people regret bottling their feelings up, at least to the point of 'absolute zero'. So they try to find other ways to make themselves feel, though those ways usually aren't.... positive methods. For some people it could be exercising, or even donating to charity, that could make them feel better, but for some people, it's not so simple.... Some people make themselves feel by, by hurting themselves...' Hyunjin says the last part so quietly Jeongin can barely hear him, but he hears him nonetheless. He gasps, almost horrified,

How could someone be so... _twisted_ to the point they hurt themselves, to try to make themselves stop hurting? And Woojin hyung was one of those people? God, he really didn't know what was going on with his hyungs.

What if that one time he saw Minho bent over the toilet at god knows when in the morning with two fingers down his throat, he was trying to make himself feel again?

What if whenever he saw Jisung bite himself (Jeongin suspected it was a form of self punishment... for what, he didn't know) he was... trying to make himself feel again?

Jeongin didn't get it, and quite frankly, he didn't want to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if there's any typos im too lazy to proofread rn  
> also this chap was over 1k owo


	29. 건들지마

When Chan woke up and felt that the bed was empty, he tried not to panic. (really, he did.)

Maybe Woojin was in the bathroom, no need to worry. Woojin would be back any minute.

But he wasn't. It had been only five minutes (has it? Chan felt like it had been much longer) What if he ran away? What if he did actually need space? What if he was hurting himself? What if Chan had been smothering him? What if, what if  _what if-_

Chan couldn't breathe. He clutched at his chest, and almost doubled over, a mix between coughing and sobbing overtaking his shaking form. He tried to remeber the breathing exercises Woojin had taught him, but all he could remember was how the last time Woojin had left his house in the middle of the night he-

It had not ended well.

He almost felt dizzy, everything was spinning and he could have sworn he heard the door open but he couldn't heae anything over the blood rushing in his ears-

'-hyung, hyung, oh my god. What do we do h-hyung-' Chan could only barely make out his voice... Felix? Chan had almost started to question why Felix (and was that Changbin?) was in his house and barging into his room and  _wasn't Woojin-_

He felt something touch his shoulder, it felt like _fire._ It _burned._ Chan wanted it to _stop, stop, stop-_

He screamed. He doesn't know what he said but all he knows is that he doesn't feel like he's _burning_ anymore, but his head hurts, and so does his heart, and Woojin's _not here-_

Everything went black.

He was calm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes this is short and yes i apologize  
> for it being short  
> not the angst  
> ;)


	30. Insomnia

Jisung had had trouble sleeping ever since they went to visit Woojin. It's not his friend's fault, but Jisung's dreams are haunted by his blank stare and the scars on his arms.

He hadn't planned on telling anyone. But then Minho declared they were having a sleepover. (his room was literally right next door to Jisung's) And who was Jisung to say no to his puppy dog eyes and pouty lips?

Jisung didn't even have time to gather his thoughts as he 'packed' (read: he picked up his pillow and blanket, and let Minho drag him next door)

Minho put on a movie (one of their favorites, The Little Mermaid) and made himself (and Jisung) comfortable. He was leaned up against the headbord with Jisung's head on his chest, and his arm around Jisung's shoulders. They fell asleep before 'Under the Sea'

Jisung was at the hospital. Why was he at the hospital?

He looked around and saw all his friends (why were they crying?) except... Woojin.

Jisung had a bad feeling about this. His vision was hazy, and the noises around him felt like they were miles away, but he could still make out Chan saying 'It's my fault, I'm his boyfriend for God's sake. I'm supposed to help him!' and Jeongin's quiet 'Not again, not again, not again-' He saw Changbin crumple to the ground.

He woke up. He couldn't breathe. He was crying. He couldn't move. It hurt, it hurt,  _it hurt-_

'Jisung! Jisung! Sungie, please! It's ok! You're safe, please-' That was... Minho? Where was he?

Oh. He was in their apartment. In Minho's room. They were having a sleepover, but Jisung had to go and fuck it up-

'S-Sungie? Can you look at me? Are you ok?' His voice was shaky and he looked like he was scared of Jisung, but moreso scared  _for_ Jisung.

'I-I'm fine, hyung.' He winced, his voice sounded rough. He could tell Minho didn't believe him, but he didn't want to be questioned. Not right now. Right now he just wanted to be coddled and told everything was going to be alright and that it's not his fault. Right now he just wanted to see Woojin so he knew he was ok. Right now he just wated-

'Bullshit, Sung. Don't lie to me, please. We don't have to talk about it now, hell, we don't have to talk about it  _ever_ just please,  _please,_ don't lie to me. Please..' Minho was looking straight at Jisung, tear's glistenjng in his eyes, hand's holding tightly onto Jisung's own.

'Ok, hyung.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sososo sorry i haven't been updating recently!!  
> ps. sorry if there's any typos


	31. Post - 건들지마

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw//forced puking

Changbin and Felix were, quite frankly, freaking the fuck out.

One minute Chan was hyperventilating and screaming like there was no tomorrow and the next he was out cold.

Neither of them were quite sure what brought this on, or at least Changbin didn't. Felix seemed to have a vague idea of what caused it but it didn't seem like he'd tell Changbin anytime soon.

'Should we wake Woojin? Or the rest of the boys?' Changbin asked. Felix thought for a minute and said, 'I know this isn't how we wanted him to get rest, but you know he doesn't sleep well. Maybe we should just wait till he wakes up?' Felix had a point, so Changbin just nodded

They slowly made their way downstairs only to see that only five boys were present in the living room. Woojin was on the loveseat, Hyunjin, Seungmin and Jeongin were on the couch, and Jisung was on the-

Minho. That's who was missing. They knew he was here, and he would've said something if he were going to leave. 

Changbin peered down the hall and noticed a light on in the bathroom, and he suddenly felt like something wasn't quite right.

He walked (quietly) down the hall, and poised his hand to knock, but he realized the door was open, and-

He could hear retching noises. He didn't like where this was going at all. He quietly opened the bathroom door and saw Minho, shaking, slumped over the toilet seat. 

He slowly walked over to Minho and crouched behind him. He slowly put his hand on Minho's back.

Minho gasped and immediately retracted his fingers from his mouth.

'I-I'm s-so sorry you had to see t-this, p-please don't h-hate me-' He sobbed, curling in on himself.

'Sh, sh. It's ok, Min. I don't hate you, we could never hate you... But we will be talking about this later ok?'

Minho gave a small nod.

'After we clean you up, would you like to come and sleep with me and Felix in his bed tonight?'

Minho hesitated before giving a small nod. Changbin smiled.

'Alright Min, lets get you cleaned up, yeah?' He pulled Minho to rest against the bathtub, and flushed the toilet. He pulled out a rag from the cabinet and wet it before going over to Minho and wiping down his hand and mouth.

'That's better isn't it? Alright, lets go get Lix and head upstairs, yeah?' He pulled Minho, who was still a bit lightheaded, up and wrapped an arm around his torso.

They went ahead and went upstairs since it seemed Felix had already gone up. When they got to Felix's room, he Changbin set Minho down on the bed. Felix only looked at him with a raised brow, he shook his head. Felix nodded. Felix got into bed with Minho and snuggled up next to him. They were out like a light.

Changbin, however was still wide awake, and was still trying to process everything that just happened.

Once he closed Fellix's door, he slid down to the floor.

Chanhbin sobbed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for any typos!!


	32. M.I.A

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> guess who's back  
> back again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was requested!

**11:21am**

_**febuary** _

**jisungie:** gm guyssssss

 **edgee:** jisujg its fra roo eaeky 4 thzi headassery

 **minnie:** wow hyung the only thing you managed to spell correctly in that sentence was headassery

 **jisungie:**.

im bored

what are y'all doing

 **lix:** trying to figure out how to mute jisung and or this chat

 **maknae:** #relatable

 **jisungie:** geez us ir bully jisung day

 **meanho:** believe me jisung if it was roast jisung day we would be going much harder than thiz

 **jisungie:** hyung :(

**minnie _has changed_ jisungie  _'s name to_ annoyance**

**annoyance:** :((

 **jinnie:** srop whining jisusbg you're a grown ass man

 **annoyance:** it's part of my charm

 **edgee:** so your charm is acting like an overgrown two year old ?

how charming

 **jinnie:** maybe if you stanned got7

 **minnie:** and day6

 **annoyance:** guys :(((

 **meanho:** geez jisung we're just messing around don't be so sensitive

 **maknae:** yeah hyung it's just a joke

 **annoyance:** well it's not very fucking funny

 **edgee:** hey they were just messing around jisung that's no reason to be rude

 **annoyance:** 'just messing around' my fucking ass

just say you're tired of me and go

this always fuxking happens

it's always just a matter of time before everyone get's tired of me

 **jinnie:** stop being over dramatic jisung sheesh

 **channie:** jisungie wait

**annoyance _has left the chat_**

**channie:** what the hell guys

**channie _&  _bear  _have left the chat_**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes i meant to misspell february  
> ps. if any of you guys have a rq/idea abt how jisung will react/how they fix it (or anything in general) please comment!


	33. Broken Compass

Jisung was tired.

Tired of being told he was  _too sensitive._

Tired of being told he was  _overreacting._

Tired of people getting tired of him. 

So, Jisung figured if they were tired of him, he should let them  _rest._ Maybe they would like him again if he gave them a break.

So Jisung decided to stay with his favorite Seo sibling, Seo Soojin. Jisung knew she and her girlfriend wouldn't pry, or tell Changbin, which he was grateful for. 

So, he packed the necessities (some clothes, his toothbrush, his charger, his earbuds, etc) and started to walk to Soojin's apartment. It was only a 15 minute walk, not too long but long enough for him to think.

He really hoped the boys were just messing with him, even if it hurt... it'd still hurt less then them actually hating him. 

When he arrived at Soojin's apartment, he knocked. When Minnie opened the door, he relaxed. See, Soojin was Changbin's older sister by  _blood,_ but Minnie was Jisung's older sister by long nights on the couch, talking about everything from their pets to how they thought their friend's secretly hated them.

They had fun. 

'Jisung! It's been so long! What brings you here? Are you looking for Soojin? Her and Soyeon are out right now but I can call her if you need her-' Minnie rambled quite a bit, it was one of the things her and Jisung had in commom, he smiled. 

'I just... need a place to crash for awhile.' He knew that if Soojin rarely pried, Minnie  _never_ did. And he was grateful. 

She nodded, She got it. Back when Jisung was in high school, when he lived with his parents, her and Yuqi had had a fight and everyone had seemed to only care about how Yuqi felt, so she crashed at Jisung's, much to his parent's disdain. (Once they had figured out that Jisung was more moral support and less something to fuck they had calmed down a bit)

She informed him that since all the girls were visiting they didn't have any open rooms, but she offered that couch.

Jisung was grateful. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> stan g idle and stream señorita


	34. ID:a

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i said i would try to update a lot over spring break but i had to work a lot so i apologize :((

'I see' came on right as Minho was walking up to his and Jisung's shared apartment. Minho really was a big 3racha stan, even moreso when he learned that his friends were 3racha. (not that he told them though, their egos were big enough already)

He hummed along to Jisung's voice as he stepped into their apartment, and even though he had his earbuds in he was taken aback by how quiet it was. 

Had Jisung gone out? He usually tells Minho when he goes out, he knows Minho worries. 

He went into Jisung's bedroom, and his knees shook a little. His bed was made. (Since when did Jisung do that?) His room was practically sparkling with how clean it was. (Had Seungmin done this?) Jisung's chargerand headphones (amongst other things) were gone. Jisung hadn't just, up and left, had he? He wasn't that type of person...

Oh. There was a note on the bed,

_dear hyung,_

_i'm staying at a friend's for a bit._

_i'm sorry for upsetting you and the others, i shouldn't have overreacted._

_i don't know when i'll be back. don't bother texting, though i doubt you would anyways._

_i always mess things up. sorry again._

_-jisung_

Minho clutched the letter in trembling fingers, reading it again, and again, and again. He hadn't meant for this to happen. Jisung never spoke of his previous friends (or lovers) to him, or any of the boys... Minho wondered who could've hurt Jisung to the point he had to physically run away to get some peace of mind.

Minho collapsed onto his bed, and cried. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for any typos.


	35. 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> persona...

When Jisung awoke the next day, despite the ache in his back and in his heart, he smiled. He could hear the hushed chatter of his friends. Don't get him wrong, he loved the girls dearly, but they weren't the friends he wanted to be with right now.

'Jisung, we know you're awake,' Minnie said, faux annoyed. He groaned as he opened his eyes and they all laughed. 'Let's get you some breakfast, shall we?' Soojin said, presumably heading to the kitchen with Soyeon if the footsteps were anything to go by.

He only fully opened his eyes and sat up when he heard Soyeon say the food was ready. He shuffled his way into the kitchen with the soft blanket one of the girls had probably put over him sometime last night still wrapped around his shoulders. All the girls cooed about how cute he was and he blushed and whined as he sat down at his chair.

'Long time no see, Jisungie.' Shuhua says, all the girls nod their head in agreement. 'Sorry guys I've been... busy recently.' As the tone of the room suddenly turns somber, the girls decide not to pry anymore.

After they finished breakfast the girls decided (without him) that they would go into town today, in hopes of lifting everyone's spirits. 

As he digs through his bag, Miyeon comes over and sits by him on the floor. He smiled nervously. Miyeon was definitely a bit of a mom, and had the tendency to worry about her 'children' like real nothers do. Which included wanting to know what was going on with them and why, and how it was affecting them.

'I know you love us Jisungie, but if you don't mind me asking, what brings you here, especially with such short notice?' She whispers, even though no one else is in the room. 'Don't get me wrong, we love having you over, but it's not like you.' She pauses, silently askin Jisung to explain. He sighs.

'The guys and I got into a...fight, I suppose. It was probably my fault,' He sucks in a shaky breath as tears gather in his eyes, 'I bother them so much it's amazing they lasted this song...' He laughs bitterly. 'I hope they don't hate me... I couldn't live if they hated me...' He sobs. Miyeon gathers him in her arms as he sobs into her shoulder.

'Jisungie, I don't know who could've hurt you so bad that you automatically assume that they hate you for god know what reason, but I can assure you, those boys, no matter how stupid they may be, love you more than anything. They may tease you, sometimes harshly, and I'm not saying it's ok, but they do love you.' She soothes. Suddenly there's another pair of arms around him.

'I know sometimes it's hard to believe there's a group of people who would willingly take a bullet for you without hesitation, but Jisung there is. Those boys would travel through hell just to make sure you're ok.' Yuqi says as she runs her fingers through his hair. He's calmed down a bit.

'Now we're not saying you should forgive them like that, because Jisungie you know no one deserves your love without effort, but just know that they don't hate you. And if it does take them a bit to realize what they did wrong, they will apologize.' Minnie says, finishing with a wet peck on his forehead. 

'That was disgustingly sweet... Now who's ready to head out on the town?' Soyeon says with a smirk. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> should i only have skz songs in the chap names or any songs?  
> ps sorry for any typos

**Author's Note:**

> I will update this whenever I feel like it, therefore updates will be sporadic.


End file.
